Paying attention .. seeing choices
A few weeks ago, as a I was dropping my daughter off for afternoon sports, she made a long sigh .. as she took in the changing colour of the trees. She had noticed the subtle hues of orange in the leafy neighbourhood we were passing. It was a delight to hear the sense of wonder in her words.
I too, find the changing seasons truly magical, and how nurturing it is, for our own wellbeing, to pay attention to the detail! The process activates our senses, gives our habitual thinking mind a break, and strengthens our sense of connection to nature. After all, we are all part of an ever changing landscape.
Mindfulness practice helps develop the skill of paying attention to such direct experience .. seeing things just as they are. We often either tend to disconnect and drift off with our minds, or add stories to our direct experience, based on past memories or future expectations. Sometimes our judgements even take over and completely reframe the entire moment. What a pity for the pretty autumn leaves that may be overlooked, and what a pity to, perhaps, habitually yell when a child is acting out.
In the child example, we are unable to remain truly present with our direct experience, if we are governed by a strong judging thought, such as: ‘This is completely annoying! I need this to stop now!’ So, where is the direct experience in this situation? The child not being its usual self (perhaps because it is bored, going through a growth spurt or looking for attention), or the thought of needing the situation to change by the adult. Is there a choice in this scenario?
I find mindfulness to be such a remarkable life-skill to practice, as it offers us the ability to see that we do have choices in how we relate to things. When we can see our experience through a more neutral lens, and less from one that is coloured by judgement or negative sentiment, our response tends to be wiser and kinder both towards ourselves and others.